Monday, February 17, 2003

And, yes, I'm transiting the old "Plastic Words" postings off the page.

They're from a time gone by.
When intemperate oral froth began a warm, tight feeling 'twixt beater and breast,
An age
When monkeys and pigs by force of anger did fly
And rest
In roosts of plush velour, and seat-back trays bore the burden of free booze
On domestic flights. Orange was a drink,
and Homeland was Heimat rendered.
Now ill-considered outrage makes a mucky sewer ooze,
Into which felonious bombast and civil peace together sink,
Our treasury of wealth and words is plundered.
We use curtains to hide marble tits,
Grecian Formula to camouflage true boobs.
Legalities proliferate, they merely throttle
The confidence of people, to give them fits,
Inspiring courtiers to defend the rule of rubes,
Practised at pouring patent medicine from an amber bottle.
I took refuge in a Gotham classroom
To hammer my anger into temperence
The question of curriculum: as I see it, I am a cook, and my job is to prepare a feast from which none go home hungry out of either revulsion, boredom, or want.

So, I punch things up. I''m turning my classroom into a college seminar. Writing and reading and etymology, oh my.

Ersatz epithets - suitably censored and diligently prepared for use in the classroom:
holy bajoly
munking dunkits
crazy as a Bactrian Camel
"Stiff knees, slack jaw. Please reverse."
"Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote"
"You Posadist left-deviationist!"
"Two mountains shall never meet, Miss Pena."
"Thank you, Leo!"
"Cheerily Hittite!"
"Well, Mr. Greenbaum, your difficulties are primarily in the realm of curriculum - you must realize that students today simply are not on the same level as you were when you attended school."